• Scam Alert. Members are reminded to NOT send money to buy anything. Don't buy things remote and have it shipped - go get it yourself, pay in person, and take your equipment with you. Scammers have burned people on this forum. Urgency, secrecy, excuses, selling for friend, newish members, FUD, are RED FLAGS. A video conference call is not adequate assurance. Face to face interactions are required. Please report suspicions to the forum admins. Stay Safe - anyone can get scammed.

Senior Sayings

Dusty

Dusty

(Bill)
Premium Member
  • The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.


  • Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.


  • When I get a headache I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.


  • Just once, I want the prompt for username and password to say, “Close enough.”


  • Becoming an adult is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.


  • If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m self-employed. We’re having a meeting.


  • “Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40-minute flute solo."


  • Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags, or is it just me?


  • I hate it when I can’t figure out how to operate the iPad and my tech support guy is asleep. He’s 5 and it’s past his bedtime.


  • Today’s 3-year-olds can switch on laptops and open their favorite apps. When I was 3, I ate mud.


  • Tip for a successful marriage: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she’s mowing the lawn.


  • So, you drive across town to a gym to walk on a treadmill?


  • Old age is coming at a really bad time.


  • If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.


  • Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.


  • Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?


  • Now, I'm wondering . . . did I send this to you, did you send it to me or have I only sent it to myself.


  • You don't need anger management. You need people to stop irritating you.

  • Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

  • "On time" is when you get there.

  • Even duct tape can't fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound.

  • It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free...and three sizes smaller.

  • Lately, you've noticed people your age are so much older than you.

  • "One for the road" means peeing before you leave the house.
 
Dusty said:
  • The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.


  • Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.


  • When I get a headache I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.


  • Just once, I want the prompt for username and password to say, “Close enough.”


  • Becoming an adult is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.


  • If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m self-employed. We’re having a meeting.


  • “Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40-minute flute solo."


  • Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags, or is it just me?


  • I hate it when I can’t figure out how to operate the iPad and my tech support guy is asleep. He’s 5 and it’s past his bedtime.


  • Today’s 3-year-olds can switch on laptops and open their favorite apps. When I was 3, I ate mud.


  • Tip for a successful marriage: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she’s mowing the lawn.


  • So, you drive across town to a gym to walk on a treadmill?


  • Old age is coming at a really bad time.


  • If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.


  • Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.


  • Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?


  • Now, I'm wondering . . . did I send this to you, did you send it to me or have I only sent it to myself.


  • You don't need anger management. You need people to stop irritating you.

  • Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

  • "On time" is when you get there.

  • Even duct tape can't fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound.

  • It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free...and three sizes smaller.

  • Lately, you've noticed people your age are so much older than you.

  • "One for the road" means peeing before you leave the house.
Click to expand...
Some of these are hitting a little too close to home.
 
Thanks Bill. That was my morning laugh with the Bride. I don't understand why she didn't like the one about mowing the lawn. I thought it was both hilarious and very wise.
 
Happy B-Day young feller and hope they keep coming.

I live in the "hereafter" quite a lot these days. I'll think of something to get from the shop but by the time I get there I can't remember what I'm "hereafter". lol

Dusty said:
Lately, you've noticed people your age are so much older than you.
Click to expand...
And going the other direction, how come there are so many 10 year olds driving cars?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top