"What kind of music do you like?" Wind turbine: "I'm a big metal fan"
You might be an engineer if…You destroy things just to see how they work
"When I wrote this code, only me and God knew how it works. Now only God knows..."
Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2.
Now, I'd say I'm pretty sure it's 2, but we'd better make it 3 just to be safe
Arguing with an engineer is pretty much the same as wrestling in the mud with a pig. After a while, you realize he likes it
A Photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage.
“No thanks,” says the Photon “I’m travelling light”
What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked?
That hertz
What's the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons; Civil Engineers build targets
Three Engineers...
Three engineers and three mathematicians are taking a train to a conference. The mathematicians each buy a ticket, but the engineers only buy one ticket between them. The mathematicians are puzzled and ask the engineers how they are going to get away with this.
"Just watch," say the engineers.
As they board the train, the engineers all cram into one restroom. When the conductor comes around checking tickets, he knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door cracks open, a hand reaches out with a ticket, the conductor takes it and moves on. The mathematicians are impressed.
On the return trip, the mathematicians decide to try the same trick. They buy one ticket, but this time they notice the engineers don't buy any tickets at all. Puzzled again, the mathematicians ask, "How are you going to get away without any tickets?"
"Just watch," say the engineers.
As they board the train, the mathematicians cram into one restroom, and the engineers cram into another one nearby.
Shortly after the train starts, one of the engineers leaves their restroom, knocks on the mathematician's restroom, and says, "Ticket, please."
There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
Proof: Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time. And since Knowledge = Power and Time = Money, it is therefore true that Knowledge = Work / Money.
Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done. (Stunningly true!)
How do you get an engineer to do something you want them to do?
Tell them it’s “impossible.”
Three engineers were riding in a car, went down a hill, and crashed.
The mechanical engineer said, "It must be the brakes. Let me check 'em out."
The electrical engineer said, "I think it was something in the electrical system. Let me check it out."
The software engineer said, "Let's push it back up the hill and run it again.”
Three engineering students were gathered together to discuss the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?”
You might be an engineer if…You destroy things just to see how they work
"When I wrote this code, only me and God knew how it works. Now only God knows..."
Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2.
Now, I'd say I'm pretty sure it's 2, but we'd better make it 3 just to be safe
Arguing with an engineer is pretty much the same as wrestling in the mud with a pig. After a while, you realize he likes it
A Photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage.
“No thanks,” says the Photon “I’m travelling light”
What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked?
That hertz
What's the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons; Civil Engineers build targets
Three Engineers...
Three engineers and three mathematicians are taking a train to a conference. The mathematicians each buy a ticket, but the engineers only buy one ticket between them. The mathematicians are puzzled and ask the engineers how they are going to get away with this.
"Just watch," say the engineers.
As they board the train, the engineers all cram into one restroom. When the conductor comes around checking tickets, he knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door cracks open, a hand reaches out with a ticket, the conductor takes it and moves on. The mathematicians are impressed.
On the return trip, the mathematicians decide to try the same trick. They buy one ticket, but this time they notice the engineers don't buy any tickets at all. Puzzled again, the mathematicians ask, "How are you going to get away without any tickets?"
"Just watch," say the engineers.
As they board the train, the mathematicians cram into one restroom, and the engineers cram into another one nearby.
Shortly after the train starts, one of the engineers leaves their restroom, knocks on the mathematician's restroom, and says, "Ticket, please."
There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
Proof: Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time. And since Knowledge = Power and Time = Money, it is therefore true that Knowledge = Work / Money.
Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done. (Stunningly true!)
How do you get an engineer to do something you want them to do?
Tell them it’s “impossible.”
Three engineers were riding in a car, went down a hill, and crashed.
The mechanical engineer said, "It must be the brakes. Let me check 'em out."
The electrical engineer said, "I think it was something in the electrical system. Let me check it out."
The software engineer said, "Let's push it back up the hill and run it again.”
Three engineering students were gathered together to discuss the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?”
